


Forever in My Mind, Only You

by KathPetrovaDiary



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Overthinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 13:58:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14594523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathPetrovaDiary/pseuds/KathPetrovaDiary
Summary: Sebastian thinks of his love for Kimi as his own personal poison. He knows it’s bad for him, knows it’ll ruin him from the inside out but he doesn’t want to give it up.





	Forever in My Mind, Only You

**Author's Note:**

> I've been going through some romantic troubles you could say, and my friend thought it was a good idea to write about them because I've a hard time saying what goes through my mind.  
> So Seb's situation in this fic is basically mine.
> 
> Written when listening to Lullabies - Yuna (Adventure Remix)  
> Enjoy the lil drabble <3

As Sebastian finds himself once again smiling at one of the older man’s jokes, he knows he shouldn’t. He tries to force the grin on his face away but he is just a helpless puppet, controled by his emotions.  
He doesn’t want to have feelings for his teammate, wishes nothing more than to take back the moment he began to fall for the Finn. It would never become more than friendship, no matter what Daniel has told him a million times before. He can’t imagine a world where Kimi would ever think of him more than just a friend or a fellow racer.  
It breaks his heart in a way. Ever since he’s discovered just how much he likes Kimi, his chest has ached. Everytime Daniel or Lewis listen to his ramblings, his on-going misery Sebastian likes to call it, they disagree. They’re the most supportive friends he could’ve ever wished for, but somehow he still doubts them.  
Even when Daniel himself talked to Kimi about the subject which resulted in a positive outcome, he wrote the words off as a joke.

Sebastian thinks of his love for Kimi as his own personal poison. He knows it’s bad for him, knows it’ll ruin him from the inside out but he doesn’t want to give it up.  
Those few minutes of pure happiness when Kimi agrees to go do something outside of the paddock, those little smiles and bits of eye-contact…  
It brings him a form of adrenaline he doesn’t experience in the car, nor when he’s drawing another helmet design.  
Love is like a drug. Once you take it, you can’t get enough of it.  
Unfortunately, Kimi is Sebastian’s.  
Blond hair and blue eyes are forever going through his mind, laughter echoes through his skull.  
Doesn’t matter how hard Sebastian tries he can’t shake Kimi.  
While his head screams this is going to be a repeat of what happened with Mark, that he has to drop the matter and just forget about it, his heart says to not give up. To take the pain without a word as a repayment for the moments of joy that’ll come in the near future.

Sebastian sighs as he notices Kimi laughing with something Valtteri has said. He tries to ignore it and turns around walking towards his motorhome.  
This feeling is like a never-ending lullaby. It repeats itself in his head. Joy to sadness to sheer depression to bliss to frustration and back to joy. It’s a vicious circle that won’t end.  
He’ll have to learn to live with it, because deep in his heart, in his soul, Sebastian knows he’ll never give up Kimi.  
Whatever happens, Kimi will forever be on his mind.


End file.
